Ahhh. It’s been one of those mornings. Had a lot of stupid nightmares last night—of the very stereotypical variety—someone is chasing you or finds you and they want to harm you and you can’t run or scream and then your own unintelligible pre-historic cries wake you up and then you a) are happy to be awake; and b) laugh at the stupid noises you actually just made out loud. Thank heavens for snuggly bed buddies, because there’s nothing quite like being cuddled after a stupid nightmare, especially one that sounds really ridiculous when you try to explain it.
“It was just really scary, ok? just trust me.”
“So who was chasing you again?”
“I don’t even know if I was being chased! there were just these bad people…and they were like everywhere and I couldn’t get away!”
ha.
Sorry. So then I fell back asleep again and fell back into the same stupid nightmare! so dumb. But towards the morning, I slept like a normal person again and it was lovely. Slept in until noon which felt amazing, and then had a breakfast of French toast and this delicious tea. I didn’t put nearly as much sugar in it because it’s fairly sweet on its own, plus I wanted it to be less sweet than the French toast I was eating. It tasted like a deliciously decadent hot blueberry latte, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting more when this runs out. You can even smell and taste the “crumble”, so it isn’t a straight up blueberry tea. Dellaterra knows what it’s doing in the pie/cake/crumble department, straight up, yo.
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I had a dream the other night where someone was keeping me hostage. Then I escaped with the help of someone else, then that person held me hostage. I kept escaping over and over again. (Not sure what that means). The worst part is I knew I was dreaming but couldn’t seem to wake up. Haha.
I had the hollow teeth/teeth falling out dream – it’s usually a final stages of grief dream for me, which seems about right.
I love that half-awake stage where you can control the dream; I get that a lot. It’s really liberating, like directing your own interactive action film.
I don’t have those dreams nearly enough, although they would have with them a redeeming quality, that’s for sure.
Also, I’m sorry that you’re grieving, whatever the reason. Regardless of how much a loss can make sense on an intellectual level (we all die/people move on/whatever), our hearts are often so much slower to grapple with it and make sense of something that feels so unbelievably heartbreaking. I can only promise you that it won’t always hurt this badly.
My recurring nightmare is that of water. I’m swimming in the ocean (sometimes I’m in a boat but usually at the beach swimming) and then a terrifying Tsunami-like wave forms out of nowhere and crashes over my head. I go under but wake up just before I get swept out to sea or drown. Pretty awful.
Oh, they definitely do – there’s always this moment when something absolutely horrifying is about to happen to me in the dream, and right then I come awake just enough to take control. The look of surprise on the faces of whatever spectres are dream-haunting me never fails to delight.
And thanks – but I have no problem with grief. Like you say – it’s a logical process. Grief makes sense. Besides, to me, feeling is being alive.
Nxtdoor, I have a recurring nightmare that’s similar if not identical—I’m on a beach and having a great time and then suddenly there’s a sea change (heh) to the whole mood and abruptly the lighting changes and there’s no more crowd of laughing happy folks, the tide starts to ominously come in fast and suddenly there’s a monstrously huge tsunami in the distance and I’m trying desperately to climb up the sand dunes to safety but it keeps eroding and I try and try and can’t get to the top and the wave engulfs me. It’s one of my least favorite nightmares, blugh. Sorry you have an awful one. :(
i have a history with night terrors, but a few years back i had one where the cat curled up on my feet, the dog on my knees, another cat, few more dogs…. i was feeling very squished but loved! but i couldn’t move except for my head. suddenly a dark figure was coming towards me with a needle aimed at my forehead. NOT OKAY! it was one of those huge ones.
anyway, in my struggles to twist my head away i managed to crack my head into my partner’s and give myself a concussion? sigh. i had this giant lump. i looked like a unicorn.
LOL JustJames, I bet you can laugh at it now, but man…a concussion! At least you had enough strength to have a real-life reaction
james is rather unicorn like, actually! a bit magical in his writing. Lots of deep feelings. I can see it!
I had a dream the other night where someone was keeping me hostage. Then I escaped with the help of someone else, then that person held me hostage. I kept escaping over and over again. (Not sure what that means). The worst part is I knew I was dreaming but couldn’t seem to wake up. Haha.
Those dreams are awful! LOL
I had the hollow teeth/teeth falling out dream – it’s usually a final stages of grief dream for me, which seems about right.
I love that half-awake stage where you can control the dream; I get that a lot. It’s really liberating, like directing your own interactive action film.
I don’t have those dreams nearly enough, although they would have with them a redeeming quality, that’s for sure.
Also, I’m sorry that you’re grieving, whatever the reason. Regardless of how much a loss can make sense on an intellectual level (we all die/people move on/whatever), our hearts are often so much slower to grapple with it and make sense of something that feels so unbelievably heartbreaking. I can only promise you that it won’t always hurt this badly.
My recurring nightmare is that of water. I’m swimming in the ocean (sometimes I’m in a boat but usually at the beach swimming) and then a terrifying Tsunami-like wave forms out of nowhere and crashes over my head. I go under but wake up just before I get swept out to sea or drown. Pretty awful.
Oh, they definitely do – there’s always this moment when something absolutely horrifying is about to happen to me in the dream, and right then I come awake just enough to take control. The look of surprise on the faces of whatever spectres are dream-haunting me never fails to delight.
And thanks – but I have no problem with grief. Like you say – it’s a logical process. Grief makes sense. Besides, to me, feeling is being alive.
It’s a logical process, but I dare say you’re better at it than I am! :).
nxtdoor, that sounds absolutely terrifying!
I had strange dreams too. Don’t recall much but I remember watching someone fall to their death :(
Nxtdoor, I have a recurring nightmare that’s similar if not identical—I’m on a beach and having a great time and then suddenly there’s a sea change (heh) to the whole mood and abruptly the lighting changes and there’s no more crowd of laughing happy folks, the tide starts to ominously come in fast and suddenly there’s a monstrously huge tsunami in the distance and I’m trying desperately to climb up the sand dunes to safety but it keeps eroding and I try and try and can’t get to the top and the wave engulfs me. It’s one of my least favorite nightmares, blugh. Sorry you have an awful one. :(
i have a history with night terrors, but a few years back i had one where the cat curled up on my feet, the dog on my knees, another cat, few more dogs…. i was feeling very squished but loved! but i couldn’t move except for my head. suddenly a dark figure was coming towards me with a needle aimed at my forehead. NOT OKAY! it was one of those huge ones.
anyway, in my struggles to twist my head away i managed to crack my head into my partner’s and give myself a concussion? sigh. i had this giant lump. i looked like a unicorn.
What a nightmarish thread!! ha
LOL JustJames, I bet you can laugh at it now, but man…a concussion! At least you had enough strength to have a real-life reaction
Now I will always picture JustJames as a unicorn.
oh man. first i was all “aw cuddly” then terrorface then lol.
james is rather unicorn like, actually! a bit magical in his writing. Lots of deep feelings. I can see it!
it was so bad. i was crazy bruised.