Honey Mead Genmaicha

Oh no! Hopefully all is well in two weeks.

Ouf! Sil, I hope you are back in business in no time. Glad to hear that you are being taken care of. Send husband for epsom salts for soaking in the bath. That goes a long way in helping the things that can be easily helped.

(Good thing we did our chocolate tour last week.)

Curl up with a good cuppa, and take it easy!

Thanks all! X-rays come back tomorrow so hopefully there’s no fracture or anything. Physio seemed to have helped with movement, though I still have t red, swollen extrawide ankle lol. Here’s hoping that I can walk soon, even if it means no running for a while so that we can still hike!

Epsom salts, Sil, epsom salts. And tea, of course.

Oh, man! I hope you a speedy recovery and diagnosis! These things have the tendency for bad timing.

Soak and wrap.

:( Hope the x-rays come back negative and that you are able to get back to normal soon.

Wow, sorry for the rant.

Oh god, that is a mind-numbingly terrible situation to be in, VariaTEA, and don’t ever apologize. I wish your mom would see how he is taking advantage of your family and just get rid of him already since he clearly is of no benefit to the household. Have you recently talked to your mom and tried to reason with her? This can’t go on forever and it would be unfair to expect everyone to just tolerate it because none of you deserve it.

Don’t apologize for the rant; though sounds incredibly infuriating. A rant is more than justified, I’d say.

My mom is as annoyed by him as everyone else and constantly complains but she will not outright say anything. She is someone who wants people to do things and gets mad when they don’t but also won’t come out and say it. For instance, the guy has something wrong with his back and was using our painkillers everyday. So the next time my mom and him were at the store, they went by the medicines and she pointed out to him that the painkillers were 20% off. She bought some and said they were for my stepdad and then got mad and complained to me and my sister that the guy didn’t buy any for himself despite using them daily. I told her she should have told him to buy them and not just hint that she should. And to make things worse she left the painkillers supposedly bought for my stepdad in the kitchen so the guy helped himself which angered my mom more. I tried explaining that by making them so accessible, as opposed to storing them in our bathroom closet upstairs with the rest of the meds, she was basically offering it and if its in someone’s nature to take things, they aren’t going to willingly buy something they are getting for free elsewhere.

Oy! What a pain!

Please tell him that if he uses your things, he needs to return them in the same way he found them. Specifically, he needs to carefully wash the inside of the cups or mugs of any residue before putting them in the dishwasher.

That’s the short version. Because really, it is all too much.

In summary, the house guest needs to go. He is not abiding by the terms of the deal and he is taking advantage. I could see if he were making an effort, but he doesn’t appear to be.

Time for an ultimatum. And/or an eviction notice.

Also, clearly, there is absolutely no need to apologize for the rant.

Yeah, he sounds like a person that will continue to take advantage as long as he continues getting away with it. Clearly, he needs to be directly told that he should buy his own painkillers (and to top that off, not be accessible to him), for instance, because people like that can easily claim ignorance to subtle hinting about getting his own. He should be damn grateful that your family is putting a roof over his head and any decent person in that situation would be more than happy to help out in any way that he can rather than take advantage as much as he can. He’ll keep pushing a little here, a little there, to see how much he can get away with. Firm boundaries need to be drawn with these kinds of people, without a doubt.

This is horrific, your mom absolutely needs to throw him out, call the cops if necessary. And even all his bullshit aside, there’s no way it’s good for your mom emotionally to have an ex hanging around.

As comments indicate, tea people are smart.

Ugh. I hope your mom kicks him out. If not, I hope she learns to set clear expectations and boundaries. He’s basically like a kid in need of a parent. So either she agrees to parent him, with house rules that actually get enforced (1. Buy your own stuff. 2. If you use other people’s stuff, replace it promptly. 3. Contribute $x per month toward the household’s shared costs. 4. No non-consensual physical contact (asshole). 5. If 30 days goes buy and you haven’t painted a room as agreed to, you’re out.) or she tells him to get the fuck out and find some other woman to take advantage of. W.T.F.

MY MOTHER HAS KICKED HIM OUT! He took a week to paint a tiny bathroom and did a terrible job so my mom told him that their original deal clearly wasn’t working out, especially after he admitted to stalling when it came to the painting because he didn’t want to buy the paint for the next room. Consequently, my mom asked for $700/month for room and board (since he was eating our food anyways) instead. Given how close we are to Toronto, public transit, highways, etc. that figure was on the low side and yet he still got mad at her and told her he had no money and she said she was helping him out and doing him a favor by letting him live here in exchange for painting. My mom tried explaining she was helping him out and that HE was the one not living up to that deal and that is why they she thinks rent would be better. He complained he had no money and this and that and finally my stepdad told him “well you are getting a $3500 tax return which is found money so you have more than enough to give us the $2800 you owe” and that is when he left. So I guess they didn’t technically kick him out but he’s gone nonetheless and my kettle is all mine again.

Fun side note. For some reason, at some point, he actually partially primed our bathroom in our basement. The bathroom was already finished and we had no intention of painting it AGAIN but now our basement looks unfinished because we have a partially primed room. Not a big deal in the overall scheme of things but still more money that we need to put out to now refinish our bathroom since the whole reason we were painting in the first place is because my mom plans to sell our house in the not-so-distant future.

That is the best news I have heard so far this week! I am so incredibly relieved for your family, and proud of your mom and stepdad for putting that ungrateful loser in his place.

Hooray, so happy to hear it!

Excellent news. Well done.

So happy for you and your family!

Thanks everyone. My mom is both pissed off and hurt that he would do this but he is gone and that’s the important part :)

Oh damn I bet that honey mead your friend makes is goooood.

It is! It is more of a cordial than a true mead that you can drink a whole cup of. I have two beehives and look forward to the day that I have a big enough harvest to try my hand at making my own. Or maybe I can trade my friend honey for mead and have her make it!