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Yikes, looks like I’m one of the odd ones out regarding this… beverage. I didn’t know that a beverage could possibly smell and taste carcinogenic until I got my hands on this. To be fair, the dry ground up substance in the pouch initially smelled tantalizing: like roasted coffee with sweet caramel. But then it all goes south from there.

Steeped, it goes incredibly burnt. Not like, “Whoops, let the toast get a little too dark for my liking” or “Drat, that rice at the bottom got a little browned.” It’s more like I left a pot of grains cooking on the stove with not enough water, buggered off to check some emails, got distracted by YouTube and forgot about the sustenance cooking away in the distance, and then start to smell something charred. But it’s too late. The grains are burned beyond recognition. Only soaking the pot for two days followed by using the most brutally strong cleaner with steel wool and a ton of elbow grease will end this nightmare. It’s that kind of burnt.

As a matter of fact, my mom happened to walk in just now, looked around confusingly, and asked if I made and consequently burnt toast because to her, the entire kitchen and living room area smells like something is burning. What’s hilarious is we don’t even have bread in the house at the moment. So I think by now you get that this smells like annihilated carbohydrates.

The liquor is black and grainy. Like coffee with the grounds floating all up in my cup’s business. I simply cannot drink this plain. It’s too burnt in taste, as well. Adding some almond milk marginally helps. The caramel pops out a touch but the overall taste and texture is off. Yes, it’s thick. Yes, it’s bold. But it’s burnt, not roasted.

When we go grocery shopping tomorrow, I’ll make sure to pick up some light cream or half-and-half which may help to counterbalance the charred notes and make this a little more tolerable to finish.