I have been really anxious lately and I think it all revolves around the fact that a couple weeks ago basically out of nowhere my grandma had to be moved into a nursing home and this weekend will be the first time I see her and it completely terrifies me. Nothing has really made me feel better but with my nose over a cup of Marco Polo I actually felt like I could breathe well for once between this and pollenmania. I have not been getting anything done like I should and I can’t bring myself to do it. So now I have a microeconomics test tomorrow and really no idea what it is on.
It’s not that it reminds me of anything, it just smells right. Malty and fruity, a bit like chocolate, a bit floral. I think the first time I had it I put in milk and sugar immediately but I think I may like it better without. It’s a bit astringent, but so creamy. And then there’s the berry taste, and the floral finish. It’s really relaxing right now, yet you have to keep on thinking about it because it’s so complex.
On an indifference curve, there would be no substitute for Marco Polo, and your budget line is just going to have to deal with the fact you actually need to have this tea. That should be good for tomorrow, right?
People who liked this
Comments
I know that if I ever have to be in a nursing home, my daughter and grandkids will bring a thermos or whatever of tea along to share with me. What a delight it will be to look forward to that special time. Having tea to give to the caregivers now and then at the nursing home will make life better for grandma too. Small kindnesses pay off. The old people who receive no attention are the ones who end up with neglect and often more health issues. I am glad you care. I don’t mind being old. When I am feeble…it will be another lesson for me and for my family just as it was when I took care of my parents and grandparents.
It will be hard to do Amanda, but she will be so glad to see you. If you are scared, imagine how she is feeling … (uggg).
I know. She has dementia brought on by Parkinson’s and it just absolutely scares me because like when she would say she heard piano music, it was just like maybe it’s just something like the TV combining with outdoor noise. But then it turned into what could almost make a movie in October, and then two nights in a row she went outside when my grandpa was somewhere else in the house, and she fell down both times (and had already fallen and broken her wrist in December) and the doctor said it would be best to do that. Like I just absolutely cannot deal with how scary it is that your brain is capable of just absolutely screwing everything up about your life like that so fast. She’s not too far from where my parents & grandpa live but it just sucks because a couple days beforehand I was planning to help them out for a week in May while my parents are on a cruise and then suddenly it’s different.
I’m really sorry that this is such a stressful time for you! I’m really glad that you can talk to us about it. I know that this can be very difficult. I can remember how different my grandma was near the end of her life. I hope I can send some of this love and care your way!
Yeah, dementia is a tough beast. When I was younger, my grandmother was going through similar issues (dementia caused by Alzheimer’s). My mother (along with me and my sister) moved into her house to help her out… and it definitely had some sobering moments. She was slowly being de-aged by her mind, to the point where she didn’t recognize herself in the mirror (and therefore called the police on her reflection). It’s tough, and I have nothing but sympathy for you during this time.
Talk with your parents and grandpa about how you are feeling. Chances are, they are feeling the same way. Figure out how you can best help. Sometimes it’s the small things and most importantly, having no regrets. Hang in there!
p.s. If she fell twice, I hope she was diagnosed properly. I don’t trust first opinions any more : (
Thank you all, I really needed to get it out somewhere and I thought this would be the best place.
She has macular degeneration too and was going outside at night so I really don’t think she had any idea where she was going :/ At least she wasn’t hurt the times outside and she only was in the driveway. This is a second doctor now who moved her after she spent a couple days in a hospital’s program. Whatever medication her original doctor put her on was not making things better at all so now hopefully it’s leveled out with more medical care.
I made some brownies for her last year because she loved them so much when I brought them I guess for Christmas, so I am going to make them again to take her some as a surprise.
Cyberhugs. You are a good grand-daughter. It is tough to see what the mind does when aging for sure. Hold very fast onto your memories of when she was well, and realize she would be in that mind if she could. The memories will get you through the rough spots with the dementia.
Grandparent troubles are stressful. She will be okay, and I know she’ll love those brownies! she is lucky to have you big hugs
and this is where I come to vent all the time! the best place for it I think :)
hugs My granny had Alzheimer’s, and it was a pretty scary time when she had to be moved into a home. Apparently my grampa put up with far more than he should have before she moved. However, she lived two provinces away so I was not as involved…
I hope she enjoys your brownies :)
It won’t be easy, but you will be so glad you went. I hope it goes well, and good luck with your test. I know how hard it can be to focus on school when yucky stuff is happening with family. Also, I teared up when I read that you were baking your grandma brownies. You are a good grand-daughter.
I hope you understand the humor in this, because I am old and have a brain disfunction, but when my grandma got dementia she thought she was at a resort and I hope I have Cruise Ship dementia! Sure my grandma slipped away from reality but we learned to give our time for visits, to keep her memories for her and to honor her in small ways like doing her hair and holding her hand.
I am in agreement with Bonnie! I had one Grandma that in her dementia created a world that tied all of her happiest places in her life together. In a way, it was how her brain protected her. BTW, a Cruise Ship dementia sounds weirdly fun!
Thank you again everyone. I can only wish that she starts to think she is somewhere better instead of the stuff that has been happening. For the most part it’s just been oddly innocent: a boy and girl live under their deck and are a band, so she hears their music, and one night they got married and celebrated in the street, but there’s been some scary stuff too. But I do feel comfortable about the whole music part, because I know every night she would sleep while listening to music.
Everything everyone has said really means a lot, hugs to you all (and cups of tea of course too).
I know that if I ever have to be in a nursing home, my daughter and grandkids will bring a thermos or whatever of tea along to share with me. What a delight it will be to look forward to that special time. Having tea to give to the caregivers now and then at the nursing home will make life better for grandma too. Small kindnesses pay off. The old people who receive no attention are the ones who end up with neglect and often more health issues. I am glad you care. I don’t mind being old. When I am feeble…it will be another lesson for me and for my family just as it was when I took care of my parents and grandparents.
It will be hard to do Amanda, but she will be so glad to see you. If you are scared, imagine how she is feeling … (uggg).
I know. She has dementia brought on by Parkinson’s and it just absolutely scares me because like when she would say she heard piano music, it was just like maybe it’s just something like the TV combining with outdoor noise. But then it turned into what could almost make a movie in October, and then two nights in a row she went outside when my grandpa was somewhere else in the house, and she fell down both times (and had already fallen and broken her wrist in December) and the doctor said it would be best to do that. Like I just absolutely cannot deal with how scary it is that your brain is capable of just absolutely screwing everything up about your life like that so fast. She’s not too far from where my parents & grandpa live but it just sucks because a couple days beforehand I was planning to help them out for a week in May while my parents are on a cruise and then suddenly it’s different.
I’m really sorry that this is such a stressful time for you! I’m really glad that you can talk to us about it. I know that this can be very difficult. I can remember how different my grandma was near the end of her life. I hope I can send some of this love and care your way!
Yeah, dementia is a tough beast. When I was younger, my grandmother was going through similar issues (dementia caused by Alzheimer’s). My mother (along with me and my sister) moved into her house to help her out… and it definitely had some sobering moments. She was slowly being de-aged by her mind, to the point where she didn’t recognize herself in the mirror (and therefore called the police on her reflection). It’s tough, and I have nothing but sympathy for you during this time.
Talk with your parents and grandpa about how you are feeling. Chances are, they are feeling the same way. Figure out how you can best help. Sometimes it’s the small things and most importantly, having no regrets. Hang in there!
p.s. If she fell twice, I hope she was diagnosed properly. I don’t trust first opinions any more : (
Thank you all, I really needed to get it out somewhere and I thought this would be the best place.
She has macular degeneration too and was going outside at night so I really don’t think she had any idea where she was going :/ At least she wasn’t hurt the times outside and she only was in the driveway. This is a second doctor now who moved her after she spent a couple days in a hospital’s program. Whatever medication her original doctor put her on was not making things better at all so now hopefully it’s leveled out with more medical care.
I made some brownies for her last year because she loved them so much when I brought them I guess for Christmas, so I am going to make them again to take her some as a surprise.
Cyberhugs. You are a good grand-daughter. It is tough to see what the mind does when aging for sure. Hold very fast onto your memories of when she was well, and realize she would be in that mind if she could. The memories will get you through the rough spots with the dementia.
Grandparent troubles are stressful. She will be okay, and I know she’ll love those brownies! she is lucky to have you big hugs
and this is where I come to vent all the time! the best place for it I think :)
hugs My granny had Alzheimer’s, and it was a pretty scary time when she had to be moved into a home. Apparently my grampa put up with far more than he should have before she moved. However, she lived two provinces away so I was not as involved…
I hope she enjoys your brownies :)
It won’t be easy, but you will be so glad you went. I hope it goes well, and good luck with your test. I know how hard it can be to focus on school when yucky stuff is happening with family. Also, I teared up when I read that you were baking your grandma brownies. You are a good grand-daughter.
I hope you understand the humor in this, because I am old and have a brain disfunction, but when my grandma got dementia she thought she was at a resort and I hope I have Cruise Ship dementia! Sure my grandma slipped away from reality but we learned to give our time for visits, to keep her memories for her and to honor her in small ways like doing her hair and holding her hand.
I am in agreement with Bonnie! I had one Grandma that in her dementia created a world that tied all of her happiest places in her life together. In a way, it was how her brain protected her. BTW, a Cruise Ship dementia sounds weirdly fun!
Thank you again everyone. I can only wish that she starts to think she is somewhere better instead of the stuff that has been happening. For the most part it’s just been oddly innocent: a boy and girl live under their deck and are a band, so she hears their music, and one night they got married and celebrated in the street, but there’s been some scary stuff too. But I do feel comfortable about the whole music part, because I know every night she would sleep while listening to music.
Everything everyone has said really means a lot, hugs to you all (and cups of tea of course too).