The last few days have been very stressful and I don’t handle stress well. As in I screamed at my poor dementia patient mother. Not to her face., I was upstairs in my bedroom and she was down in the hall. She asks over and over and OVER the same questions. I just lost it. I opened my mouth intending to answer her again but instead, I screamed my reply. I feel awful, not jsut because I screamed, but because I hurt mom. I don’t want to do that, and she cannot help asking the same question every thirty seconds. She literally cannot remember that she’s asked already.
I knew helping take care of her would be challenging sometimes, but I am at the end of my rope. I require alone time to recharge, but I have no privacy. Even my bedroom isn’t not my own space. She comes up at all hours of the night and flips on the light to chat. I am going to have a heart attack or a nervous breakdown.
Sorry for the vent. That was all to say that I went through my tea box looking for something that would be a special treat. I found a pouch of Banana Nut Bread. I’ve had it for more than a year and it’s never been opened, so I figured this was the perfect time to try it.
I brewed it for about 8 minutes in 205 degree water. The liquer is light, a little darker than yellow, but not brown or even amber. The flavor is equally light. I don’t know if it is the age, or the amount I used to brew, or the fact that I can’t smell, but I don’t taste much. It is mildly sweet. I enjoyed it. While I drank it I had an entire 30 minutes alone while my brother entertained my mom.
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I understand your frustration. My grandmother started presenting signs of dementia over ten years ago. My aunt was her primary caretaker and I saw the effect my grandmother’s follies had on her. She often vented to me when she could no longer stay calm. Keep venting whenever you need to. There is a lot of information out there with suggestions on how to deal with the burden. I found that doing something easy and new with my grandmother, like watercolor painting, somehow kept her focused for a few hours. And while she couldn’t remember anything beyond 30 seconds, she at least derived some pleasure and sense of accomplishment from those simple things. I’m glad to hear you have other family around to take at least some of the load off temporarily.
Vent all you need to. This is a tough road.
Thank you, derk and gmathis. The beginning of this week was especially bad. It’s a little better now. Our town has adult education classes that start in the fall. That booklet should come in the mail soon. Maybe I’ll see if there is something mom would like to do.
I am so sorry, Maddy. Prayers tonight for you. I know it is hard.
Dear Maddy Barone, being a caregiver is really truly incredibly hard. Made even more so when your charge is a parent (with that backlog of history and expectation and protocol). Be very kind to yourself; you are doing the best that you can. Recognize that and work on carving out time for yourself so that you can nurture yourself to keep sane and well as you continue. Big hugs to you. And vent whenever you need to. Many of us understand just how it is.
I understand your frustration. My grandmother started presenting signs of dementia over ten years ago. My aunt was her primary caretaker and I saw the effect my grandmother’s follies had on her. She often vented to me when she could no longer stay calm. Keep venting whenever you need to. There is a lot of information out there with suggestions on how to deal with the burden. I found that doing something easy and new with my grandmother, like watercolor painting, somehow kept her focused for a few hours. And while she couldn’t remember anything beyond 30 seconds, she at least derived some pleasure and sense of accomplishment from those simple things. I’m glad to hear you have other family around to take at least some of the load off temporarily.
Vent all you need to. This is a tough road.
Thank you, derk and gmathis. The beginning of this week was especially bad. It’s a little better now. Our town has adult education classes that start in the fall. That booklet should come in the mail soon. Maybe I’ll see if there is something mom would like to do.
I am so sorry, Maddy. Prayers tonight for you. I know it is hard.
Dear Maddy Barone, being a caregiver is really truly incredibly hard. Made even more so when your charge is a parent (with that backlog of history and expectation and protocol). Be very kind to yourself; you are doing the best that you can. Recognize that and work on carving out time for yourself so that you can nurture yourself to keep sane and well as you continue. Big hugs to you. And vent whenever you need to. Many of us understand just how it is.